Hello, my name is Annabelle Sapulpa Targon. I have been chosen by Delzinko's Dead Inc. to come up with a new paradigm that has earning and growth potential. The italics are quotes. I find that it is best to differentiate other people's words from mine because when I don't, I fail a class. My professor calls it plagiarism. I am really lucky I got a job at Delzinko's Dead Inc. because, before this, I never really had to do any work. One time Jimmy made me watch him play Minesweeper, but that is it. He kept saying, "Take that flag, you bastard mine!" until I laughed at him. Then he got really mad and made me leave. It is a good thing he is only vice-executive because I might have been fired! Anyway, this is the first time I had to do brain-storming. It is when you sit and think of ideas. It is not very hard because I like to think about what I know and what do I know? T-shirts! I wear them all the time and I see lots of other people wearing them! It is the perfect idea.

The first step was to make ideas for t-shirts. That was where I actually did have to do some brain-storming. I tried a few logos and ideas; my only limitation was that it had to feature the name 'Delzinko' and that there was no reference to the movie Hannibal. I hate that movie so much! I went and saw it with Jackson Blaine and he spent the whole time murmuring, "Kill them all!" under his breath. Sometimes, Jackson is kind of weird.

Anyway, I write a lot of poetry so ideas for things to put on t-shirts should have been really easy. I am a poet, after all. However, you can't put a whole poem on a t-shirt! It is too small! I thought about making t-shirts with flags that the poem could continue on but I realized that then it would be hard to walk through doors. The solution was to make t-shirts with short slogans. It is the best I could come up with.

I remembered that Televar also had this project so I tried to find him. Apparently he spends all his time at work on the roof because he likes to be close to nature and tar. I went up on the roof and asked him for some good slogans. All he would say is, "You'll find those things... you thought were gone." The pause was very dramatic the first few times he said it, but when I knew the whole quote it wasn't as breath-taking. However, it did make me realize that there should be naturally occurring dramatic pauses in my slogans. Maybe a front of shirt/back of shirt pause. No wonder everyone says Televar is wise.

Anyway, that whole deal with Televar didn't come into play until later. First, I made some initial idea pictures:

I showed my ideas around and asked if they would wear these shirts. Most of the DDI employees said yes! But when I asked why, it was because they didn't own very many clothes and they thought I was offering free t-shirts. Some of them pretended to be confused. I took a list of those people to Fritz because we don't need people who pretend not to know what is going on at DDI. They are all gone now and I hope they stay gone! No wonder this company doesn't make any money! It is capitalism when the worthless employees get fired. We didn't need janitors and secretaries anyway.

Anyway I decided that I needed to dumb down my ideas for the general public because, as everyone on the Internet knows, most people are pretty stupid. They can't help it; they're not on the Internet! After a lot of thought, Televar's idea popped into my head and I made a proto-type:

So there you have it! Annabelle saved DDI with her shirt! I haven't made the presentation to Fritz yet because he is napping, but he should be thrilled. I plan to give him some Legos along with my proposal.

A note: There is some super funny story about Todd Delzinko that would make this shirt all sorts of significant, but I don't know it. I asked Jackson and he said it was OMAHOEN (One Man Against His Own Evil Nature) so who even knows what that means.